Entitled to Life

       I have learned the deep dark secret of the universe. And if you haven’t learned or heard it yet, you may want to look away now. Here it is - life is hard. Life is terrible. Life makes you cry, and sometimes, life even makes you wish you could be someone else – anyone else – because you are just so tired of being you.  You hear it all the time, at church, from your friends, and from your mom - you are here to be happy... Right… That happens about every other week and usually is accompanied by pizza and a big bowl of ice cream.

      I don’t have a super awesome, amazing life. I have to work for everything I have. I work hard. I work so hard that sometimes I want to sit in the corner of a room and cry. But, the up shot is, I don’t need anything. I have clothes, I drive a reliable car, I have food, and I even have a gym membership. What else could I want in life? Turns out, I've been wanting a lot more. 

      The scriptures talk a lot about our purpose here. Sometimes I think we get waylaid, and think that we are here to just have the joy it talks about in Nephi. Don’t get me wrong, I know we are, however, we are also here to be tested, and not just for the joy. I don’t ever remember learning in seminary, institute, or reading in the scriptures where it says that life would be easy. I like to think of a student that happily signs up for a class, and then expects an A without ever showing up to lecture, reading any of the assigned material, or even opening the book. When something is worth it, there is work involved. Always. This is another dark secret of the universe. 

    Sometimes, I find myself praying, asking for a reprieve from my trials. I am a good person. I’m not perfect, but I do what I can.  I served a mission, I read my scriptures, and I pray. I even take notes during General Conference, and I've been through a lot already. So, why then, do I need to go through so much still? Haven’t I learned what I need to? Nope. It so happens that I am not entitled to the Celestial Kingdom, or any kingdom for that matter. The fact that I even have been given a body and I'm here on earth is a huge blessing. Who am I that I think I can get out of this life without going through something hard? Or even two hard things? And what do these trials do to me anyway?  I am stronger. I have proved to myself that I made it. I proved to myself that God loves me, and gives me trials to strengthen my faith.  I am entitled to that – a grateful heart, because I have been given much.