{Insert incredibly awesome title here}

I have someone in my life that is special to me. Someone who can make me smile no matter what. Who makes me feel better when I am sad or sick. He is someone that I always want to be around, and never get sick of being with. We have been on a few adventures together, and have planned many more, which I am so excited for! He is a great friend. Someone I trust with all of my secrets.

The best thing about this person is his heart. It's so big. He takes care of everyone around him. He is a teacher, and just the way he talks about his students, you can tell that he loves them, not to mention how he interacts with them. But not only is he this way with people he knows, he treats strangers with love and thoughtfulness as well. And he is always a gentleman. Always opening doors for me, and helping me understand that it's okay not to be fiercely independent.

I have learned so much from him. He has taught me what it means to trust someone. I have learned a lot about the gospel. And he has taught me to always look on the bright side of things, and find joy in the journey.


I am so thankful for this man who has loved me, and has made me feel beautiful - even when I have had the
flu! And, although he has proven that I am indeed ticklish, I love him and I am so grateful for what he has done for me, there aren't words to even say how grateful I am, or how much he has done. This guy is wonderful. And I am thankful every day that he talked to me, and has taken then time to let me get to know him. I am blessed.

Chris, you're awesome! Happy Birthday. :)

Legacy to Live Up To

My grandpa, my mom, and I outside the tunnel on the mountain

My maternal grandfather is my hero. For as long as I have known him, he has been hardworking and very spiritual. He is in his eighties now, and still goes to work everyday, at least 40 hours a week. He knows the meaning of hard work.

He calls me Puddin. I have no idea why, or how I got that nickname, but I love it.

He has been involved in several projects in our community, county, and state. He values the heritage we have in the Four Corners, and is very involved with helping preserve ruins and the culture of the Native Americans here. He has also helped preserve the legacy of the Hole in the Rock pioneers, and has always reminded us that we are part of that. He has been a good example of how to emulate their lives.

My "gramps" has a love for our country. He has instilled in me the "American spirit" and a love for patriotism. Although I know he disagrees with a lot of political people/things, he always does his best to work with them, and fight for what's right.

He also supports our armed forces. This particular picture is taken in Arlington Cemetery while he is waiting for my mom and a couple of others to come welcome the Run for the Fallen crew, and to visit my brothers grave there.

I love my grandpa, and I am so thankful that I have a part of him in me. He is my biggest cheerleader. He helped me make the decision to serve a mission, and it was the best decision I have ever made. He never had the opportunity to serve, and so he has always been supportive of those who want to, sometimes even helping pay for their service. I remember taking my mission call over to show it to him and my grandma after I got it, and he cried. I have never and will never forget that moment.

 I don't know if I will ever be able to live up to his example, but I am sure going to try.

'Tis the Season... To Be Grateful!

Everyone is posting what they are grateful for on Facebook. And, I suppose, that's a good place to do it, since people actually read my Facebook posts, and no one reads these posts. However, I got thinking this morning that I have this blog, and it's a gratitude blog, and I should probably just post things here. Let's be honest, I might as well....
So, here it goes for this week:

• I am so grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ. The blessings I have because of it are innumerable. Every minute of my life is affected by my decision to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. God is good. 
• I love my family. I am so grateful for them, and the things that they have taught me. I love how huge my family is. I love how loud we can get. I love it when we are all together, playing games, and just hanging out. It is a good time... 
• I have the greatest friends. They are always there to listen to me complain, and then tell me to buck up and deal with it. 
• I am so grateful for the area I live in. Woo hoo for San Juan County! The most gorgeous place on earth. I am grateful that every time I look out a window, I am reminded that God created this earth for us. 

Simple Faith

Sometimes, when I hear of someone struggling in some phase of the gospel, I find it hard to understand. When I've discussed this with people, they take it that I am not someone that questions things, and that I'll just take whatever. As I've thought about this, I've come to the conclusion that they are both very right, and very wrong.

I have had too many experiences in my life to ever doubt that there is a God. And, not only is he God, but he is a very loving Heavenly Father. Time and time again I have been amazed as events unfold in my life, and I can obviously see His hand in all of it. Even times when I have been frustrated because my plans didn't work out. God's plan always does. I believe in a God that has infinite knowledge and power. I believe that I am here for a reason. And I may not be perfect, but I know he is. I also know that His plan is perfect, and we have been given a perfect Savior. So, because I'm not perfect, I do have doubts sometimes. Sometimes there are things that I cannot understand, however, it's easier for me to just trust that things will all work out one day, instead of beat my head against a wall that isn't going to give.

I have a simple faith.

From My Kitchen to Yours: Basic Easy Recipes

So, when I think about it, I am very, very grateful for good food. Especially soul food. Those things that you eat when nothing else will make you feel better. MMM-mmm, yummy! And then there is that food that saves you on busy, busy days, when you don't have time to do anything but breathe. I have noticed that quick, easy meals are "in" on Pinterest now, so I thought that I would share my favorite go to meal.

So, first of all, you need to go to the store. This is something most people do on a somewhat regular basis, so you can grab it while you are already there. Sometimes when I am having a particularly busy day, I will just stop on my way home from work, run in, go to the freezer aisle, grab it, and go. It's so easy when you live in a small town with relatively short lines at the grocery store. We have more open check out stands than Wal-Mart!

The best thing about this meal? You will only need to buy one item! It can come in assorted packages. Sometimes it comes in a box, and sometimes it's just shrink wrapped, like this. Sometimes, if you can get it on sell, it's just a couple of dollars! What a deal! This is my favorite brand, but many of you may prefer another. I like the thin crust and "personal pizza" feel to it. Also, I don't like to over-do it when it comes to what is on top. I'm a simple girl. But for you fancy folks, there is always the option of supreme or four meat.

So when you take it out of the package, it will look something like this. Probably a little more squished, or less, it just depends on how much handling it happens to go through, and also if it was on top, or bottom of the pile in the freezer.

Side note: Remember to remove the cardboard from the bottom. If not removed, it will cause the entire thing to taste like processed paper. Not so yummy.

Sometimes all of the pepperoni, or as my nieces call them "hot rugs", are all on one side of the pizza. Again, it just depends on handling, shipping, freezer placement. It's fairly simple to re-arrange them in a somewhat symmetrical pattern. This makes it so there is equal distribution of the protein on all slices (we can all kid ourselves that this is what makes this "healthy"). However, this does take extra time, so, if you are planning to hog the whole pizza to yourself, don't worry about it too much. You will just have a lot to handle in one bite. But if you are in a hurry, it shouldn't be that big of a problem, right?

Here's the skinny on this meal. It's not. So, I like to go all the way, and throw a little extra cheese on top, just to make sure my arteries are good and clogged. *Go big or go home, right?* Oddly enough, since I hadn't planned ahead, the only mozzarella cheese was in the freezer, so it went well on top of my frozen meal.

Side note: You don't have to add the extra cheese. This is totally up to your own preference.

It is now ready to go in the oven.

Usually you want to turn that baby up to a high heat, this particular brand of pizza recommends 400*. It's best to probably pre-heat, but I regularly, if at all, remember that it needs to be done. Besides, this is a quick meal, right? Who has time to wait for the oven to heat up? Not me! I usually throw it in around 200 degrees, and it always turns out fine!

This is my pizza, right before I will walk off and do other things while it cooks.

Just remember to set a timer.

Or, if you rather, the smell of burnt food reaching whatever room you are in at the time is a good reminder that you have something in the oven. This may or may not have happened a lot in the past. So I feel I am the most qualified to warn you. Burnt pizza tastes just a little bit worse. But it's still edible.

And this, my friends, is the finished product. The crust is just right at a gold brown color, and the cheese on top is just to the brink of being burned. Now all you need to do it cut that baby into slices and enjoy! Just be careful while you are eating it, that you can fully bite through the cheese, or else it will slide off, and the sauce on the bottom will burn your chin!

Every SINGLE Person

Yesterday felt like it was one of those days that the only thing people really noticed about me was my empty, left ring finger - and the lack of a flashing vacancy sign.

It's not that I don't want to get married, but I honestly believe that God has a plan for my life, and He has things I need to do first, before I have that opportunity. I am okay with that. I am happy with that. I can deal with that. Why can't they?

It's rare that a day goes by that someone doesn't comment on the lack of a significant other. As if I need to be felt sorry for because I must be lonely. I am lonely sometimes, honestly, but I don't feel sorry for myself, usually. I have a Heavenly Father that loves me. I can turn to Him when I feel lonely. I felt more lonely in middle school, when everyone else feels lonely. So, people, quit looking at me like I'm some poor, pathetic abandoned puppy. Quit seeing me as that old maid without a chance. And please, stop commenting on it. Really. It makes me never want to get married, just out of spite.

It is possible to still be happy when you are single. I know some girls that think that's where their worth comes from - having a husband, staying at home, and raising a family. I believe that it helps, but that's not how you are supposed to define yourself. I am a daughter of God. I have a strong faith in the Savior, Jesus Christ. I know why I am here. I am not perfect. Sometimes I still cry myself to sleep, because life is still hard. But, I don't want to be defined as that old maid that obviously can't be happy because some man doesn't love her enough to marry her. I am a person. I have a degree - two in fact. I am in graduate school. I am a teacher. I served an honorable mission, where I was able to witness amazing miracles - in others lives as well as my own. I am a relief society president that feels the pains and joys of every single girl under my watch care. I am a visiting teacher that will do everything it takes to find my girls and make sure they are loved, and that someone is thinking/praying for them. These are some other things about me. Define me as that. See these things about me. Please. Because, I may be comfortable with where I am at in life, but sometimes those comments still really sting. Maybe society  really hasn't come very far if all you see of me is that I don't have a man.

Much About Me

Because I have the best job in the entire world - no really, what other job provides snacks?- and a lot of free time, then I will probably be writing on this blog A LOT more often. I am going to attempt to put down some things about myself that not everyone knows. I did this on Facebook almost two years ago, but somethings have changed, so, here goes nothing everything.

1. I could make bread and lemon meringue pie by the time I was 12, but I didn't master the art of macaroni and cheese until my mission.
2. My favorite fruit is a necturen (sp?).
3. My middle fingers are both crooked. I try not to flip people off because I'm afraid that they will just laugh .
4. I am a perfectionist.
5. I love making lists. I am addicted to the feeling you get when you cross things off when they are done.

6. I love the smell of a swamp cooler when it first turns on.
7. When I am nervous or anxious, I bite my nails.
8. I hate being in a large crowd.
9. I always have to be doing something. It's hard for me to just sit and watch a movie. I have to be doing homework or something else, or I start getting bored.
10. I've reached that point in my life where I would be okay if I was single forever. Weird, I know.

11. Whenever I am sad, I love to watch Sleepless in Seattle, or a few episodes Grey's Anatomy, season one. I'm thinking that I just really like movies based in Seattle and I really need to go there one day.
12. Once, when I was at an impressionable age, a boy told me he liked my hair straight better than curly. I have hated having my hair curly ever since. Currently trying to get over that...
13. I don't really have a desire to travel the world. Sure, some places would be nice to visit, but I can just look them up on the internet and save a lot of money.
14. I hold my stress in my shoulders, and some days, like the last few weeks, they ache so bad I want to cry.
15. I love the Fourth of July. The cotton candy, the parade, the smell of fireworks, and the patriotic feeling.

16. It is really hard for me to let things sit. Once I know that something needs done, I have to do it right then, or it eats away at my soul. At least, that's what it feels like. I also really hate not having a plan.
17. I have really short, fat feet.
18. I have been to the principal's office twice. Once wasn't my fault. The injustice of it still rankles my hide.
19. Sometimes I like to  picture myself as this big, bad person, but really, I guess I'm a softy, and sometimes I even find it hard to swear. I feel too guilty.
20. When I was younger, I wanted to be an investigative reporter in New York City. I was adventurous once...

21. A lot of things scare me. Like, the dark, trying new/different things, water... When I came home from my mission, my motto was, "Do something everyday that scares you", but those things were things like: going to the store alone, or answering to my first name. I still try to live by that motto, but it's getting harder and harder.
22. I don't really like wearing jewelry. I will always have a CTR ring on, and once in awhile another ring and earrings, but for the most part, I don't like it that much.
23. I believe my grandpa is the best person in the entire world. He's my hero.
24. I really don't like spiders. I will scream like a girl, and then grunt, cause I won't admit that I screamed.
25. I love to read. I can read and read and read. Sometimes I stay up until 4 or 5 in the morning to finish books. My all time favorite? The Princess Bride.

Be Still and Know

The last few weeks have been rather stupid hard. In April/May when I was deciding what to do and where to go after spring semester, I felt strongly that I needed to come home for at least the summer. I still hadn't decided if I wanted to for sure go to graduate school or not yet, (although I had applied and payed way too much on an application fee for not being sure...). So I came home. I applied for full-time jobs, and I just trusted that this was where I was supposed to be. Then I actually got accepted into graduate school. How that happened, I don't know. I guess stranger things have happened, but whatever. So then I had to figure out if that was something that I really, really wanted. Sometimes I'm still wondering, even though I have started classes and things are on their way...  

So, anyway, a couple of weeks ago, I was up in Logan for my orientation for graduate school, and I had this feeling of uncertainty - again - about where I was, and what I was doing with my life. I was ready to pack up and move anywhere, mostly because the last four years have been spent packing and moving. I wasn't used to staying in one spot... But somehow I sucked it up and came home anyway. When I got home, the first Sunday back, the branch president asked to meet with me, and asked me to be the new Relief Society president in the YSA Branch. Which still has me in a complete tail spin. I guess I doubt myself way too much to feel that I am the right person for these girls, but, I accepted - only because while praying and fasting about it, I re-read my patriarchal blessing, and found an entire paragraph that talks about this part in my life. With this discovery, came the greatest outpouring of the spirit and of love that I have ever felt.  I have never felt more sure about where I am supposed to be. Which is shocking. Never in my life had I thought that I would be in this place, at this time. I never planned this. And although this would have been the last place on earth I would have ever wanted to be, I finally feel like I am on the right track, and that all the other things I have done in my life have lead up to this. I am confident in who I am. I recognize that I am not enough, but I know that it's okay.... It's more than okay. I have been amazed by God's plans before, but this has me baffled. How did he know? It seems like a silly question. God knows everything. In 1 Nephi 9:6, it reads: But the Lord knoweth all things from the beginning; wherefore, he prepareth a way to accomplish all his works among the children of men; for behold, he hath all power unto the fulfilling of all his words. And thus it is. Amen. 

I am so glad that we have a loving Heavenly Father. He rocks. When I was set apart yesterday, I was able to feel a tiny bit of his love for me, and for those girls that have been placed in my care, and guess what, it's amazing. I am so scared excited for the opportunity that I will have to grow even more. Someone once told me that it's better to be mediocre in the church, because then no one ever asks you to do anything hard. It's not true. I have never felt more mediocre, in comparison, in my whole life, and here I am. I don't want to be mediocre. I want to be awesome. I want to fulfill whatever it is that God is asking me to do. I only pray that I will be able to be worthy of His help, because that's the only way it's going to get done.  I love this gospel, I love my Savior, and here we go...

Queenly

So, because of my copious amount of free time that I dread enjoy every day at work, I have taken to making cutesy little things like that which is to the right ---->. Neat, huh? I like it. Turns out I can be rather creative when I want to be. Now, on to thinking of original things to put on them!

I have a lot of things going on in my life right now. Work, grad school, church responsibilities (which, might be getting bigger any day now, which adds to my stress), and family things. I know that I am not as busy as many people I know, and, admittedly, I have more free time now than I have since before my mission. Four and a half years of running around like a chicken with it's head cut off, and now I feel like I am not that busy - and yet, just as stressed. Weird. The point is, Heavenly Father takes care of me. He still provides those tender mercies that help me through the day. I am so thankful for that. It's like a friend posting on your Facebook wall/message, or sending a text, just because they can - because they care. Heavenly Father cares.  He loves me. I am reminded of that every day. I love thinking of the scripture in Nephi that talks about tender mercies, and how they are to help them be mighty, even unto the power of deliverance. Awesome thought. I feel that way. I feel that when I receive a prompting, or something unexpected happens, it makes me a little bit stronger, and gives me the strength I need to make it through the day. Our God, truly, is an awesome God. And the best part? He loves you just as much as he loves me. No contest.

When the Storm Clouds Gather

Sometimes it's everything I can do to make it through the day.
It's so hard to drag my tired body out of bed, shower, and choose an outfit for work. Especially on dark, rainy days. Days when the sun can't quite make it through the the dense clouds.

Sometimes, I feel like my good mood has a layer of clouds it has to fight before it can get out.  The sad thing is, I have to keep living. I can't hide in my room and wait for the storm to pass. So what do I do? I get out of bed, fall to my knees and pray like crazy that things will get better. 

Because of the drought this year, we haven't been seeing a lot of rain, and water has been getting low. Yesterday, while I was driving home from my grad program's orientation meeting, there were storm clouds most of the way home, and I couldn't be anything but grateful for the rain that was pounding my car and pooling on the road. Although it was dangerous, it was needed. I was thinking about how this could apply to my own metaphorical clouds. Usually, whenever I am having a bad day, I always turn to The Lord for help. I go throughout the day with a prayer in my heart that I will be okay, this gives me an outpouring of the spirit that I can hopefully conserve and keep, even when things aren't quite so dreary, but sometimes those are the hardest times, because it's easy to forget to read the scriptures and pray when things are going well.

I don't even have words to say how happy having the gospel in my life makes me. I'm thankful for that. 

Things I am AFRAID to tell you

I saw this on another blog that I was reading today, and I thought that I would give it a try. I thought it might count towards liking that part of me that I don't think others would like if they knew. 

1. I have a hard time liking the way I look. Every once in awhile I will look in the mirror and thing, Dang! I look great today! But those times are very few. I can't even tell you what it is exactly that I don't like, or wish I could change, but, there it is... The Ugly Truth. Almost literally.

2. I really struggle with confrontation. Most of the time 

I will do anything to avoid it. I will even give up my own wants/feelings/whateverness to avoid it. That doesn't seem much of a sacrifice to me, comparatively. Since my mission and after taking a few classes, I have come to know about the importance of communication, but still, sometimes I just get scared and don't want to deal with things. 

3. I am terrified of the dark. Really. I usually just close my eyes tight and try to fall asleep as soon as I can. The funny thing is, I can't sleep if there is a light on anywhere, so I feel like I'm stuck. Most of the time if someone is with me, I'm fine. Maybe this is why I want a dog so much?

4. Sometimes I pick my nose. Blowing just doesn't do the trick! I've become really aware of this problem because I work in a facility that has cameras in every single room, except the bathroom. I'm sure the person in the control room just giggles when I go to town digging for gold. 

5. I have PCOS (poly-cystic ovarian syndrome), and I hate it. I hate the not knowing what causes it, I hate the not knowing how to fix it, and I especially hate that I always feel guilty whenever I eat something I shouldn't. And the thing I hate the most - the nasty symptoms. They are so awesome... NOT! I guess in the long run it's not the most terrible thing I could have, but it's still bothersome, and I hate it so. I guess this could be thrown in with #1, but I feel like my body has betrayed me somehow, and so I have a hard time accepting this part of myself. 

6. I take things personally. Things I shouldn't. And I know I do it, so most of the time I can stop myself, but every once in awhile, I will totally tear myself apart for not being good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, or anything enough. 

7. When I feel guilty, you can make me do anything. Really. Although, now that I am aware of this, I am trying to fix it, but people that want to take advantage, totally can. All I've got to say about this, parents, be careful raising your kids. 

8. I had a hard time adjusting to middle school - a REALLY hard time. So much so that we almost decided to put me back in fifth grade, it was so close that we were in the principal's office, and I was totally ready to go to school that day, even if my new teacher had to be the worst/meanest one, but thank goodness, the principal told me to try sixth grade for just a little bit longer. I am pretty sure my mom thought I was possessed for the longest time, but once we got my home room switched around, I was mostly okay. Before this incident, I was a know-it-all, spitfire brat, after, well... Next item. 

9. I used to be painfully shy. I hated making eye contact/talking with people. I hated talking on telephones or being places where there were lots of people. I don't really have a problem anymore, but am still quiet. Mostly I just like to watch people. But, thanks to my mission, I will do pretty much anything that needs to be done, now. My boss is loving it. Ha.  
10. Sometimes I get mad at Heavenly Father. I've always had simple faith, and have always trusted that things would work out the way the are supposed to... But every so often I look around at my friends who are married, or having babies, and I am heart broken that I can't have that yet. And sometimes I doubt I ever will. I get mad because a) it's a commandment to get married, so why can't I? and b) it's something that I really want, so, again, why can't I? Yes, I know, we are here to have trials and everything will be made right and blah blah blah. I know the answers, and yet, still, I get mad. I'm human. 

Positive Affirmations

What a terribly ungrateful summer I have had! And I haven't really even been that terribly busy... not compared to spring semester at least.
I have a lot of things to be thankful for. First and most important, the fact that I am a Daughter of God. And I get to know all about it! I'm tired of the self-loathing that the world preaches. Today I make my stand. I am strong because I am weak. There are things that I have to work at, struggle with, and fight for. I am not gorgeous, perfect, and I am not particularly brilliant. I have to carve out what I am. It's hard, and a lot of times it makes me cry. But it builds me up. I stand today, not a perfect individual, but one willing to try for it, to put in the effort required. I will continue to fight for who I am, and that gives me strength. I did not come to Earth to while away my time, or to be miserable. I am here to grow, to consistently run into walls of doubt and pain, and overcome those. I am  a Daughter of God, and he LOVES me. Loves ME. Loves me enough to give me the opportunity to realize my own strength. I will face the world head on, and I will do it with joy in my heart, knowing my future is secure. Come what may and LOVE it!

Letting Go

Sometimes saying good-bye to people is hard. Especially when you've come to care for them deeply. Sometimes I wonder what's harder, it being them that makes the choice to move on, or when it's yours. When I think about those who have come and gone in my life, I am grateful. I have learned a lot from them. A lot about the world we live in, a lot about relationships, and a lot about myself. In the end I suppose I will be made up of all the little things that I have learned from a lot of amazing people.... Even when it's learning how to heal from a broken heart. I suppose even that's a helpful skill to have. So... Here I am, grateful for it all, but not really wishing that I won't need to endure much more of these.

Find the Beauty in Hardships

It's been awhile since I posted - not because I haven't found anything to be grateful for, but because I've been busy. Work, school, work, school, DISNEYLAND, work, school, work, work, work, school.... The upside? Next week is finals. Are you surprised to hear that is my upside? Don't be.

So, between work and school, I managed to get a night off  a few weeks ago to go to my mission reunion. On the way there someone behind me decided that texting their friend was more important than watching the road and noticing that traffic had stopped.

Oops. Needless to say it ruined my day. Actually, it's ruined the last two weeks. I was SO sore for at least a week, my car was totaled and we have been fighting with the insurance company to get things all figured out, and did you know that apparently you still have to pay a deductible, even when it wasn't your fault? Thank you Liberty Mutual. I will never recommend you to anyone, ever. All this going on while I'm trying to finish the last few weeks of school. Awesome.

This is my grateful blog. And I probably know few people that are grateful that they were in a car accident, however, I am going to say it, I AM GRATEFUL! Yeah, it has been an absolute nightmare the last little while, but through it all, I have felt little assurances that God knows what is going on. I didn't die in the accident, I'm not maimed beyond recognition, and I was able to get a new car quickly and for a real steal. Also, I am getting back $1,600 more than I paid for the car a year and a half ago, so, who's complaining? :)

So, moral of the story: don't text and drive, when bad things happen, watch for the hand of the Lord, and muscles relaxers are the bomb - but watch out, they make you sleep, A LOT.

Being a Latter-day Saint Pretty Much Rocks.

     I am so grateful to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints! There is a lot of skepticism out there on whether members of this church are actually Christian. Let me assure you, we are. We don't worship Joseph Smith, we don't sacrifice babies on alters, or even animals, and we don't do anything else that would seem weird or odd to you if you knew the scriptures and the way God deals with His people.
     I didn't always really believe very strongly in my church. I went mostly because it was what my parents wanted, and that's where my friends were. I thought then that I had a testimony, but it wasn't until hard times struck that I really understood the meaning of testimony and faith, and more importantly, the healing power of Jesus Christ's atonement. I have always been a little grateful for those hard times, even though it's been one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with. That being said, the knowledge I have, and because of the power of the priesthood, that hard thing isn't as bad as it could be, if I didn't have my beliefs. I can't imagine what it would be like to deal with it without that knowledge.
    I am grateful for the opportunity I had to be a missionary for this amazing church. It was the most amazing time of my life. I love the people that I was able to meet and work with. I love our Savior, Jesus Christ. I only wish that I could be a better example of His love. I am so grateful for the priesthood, and for the sealing power. I love my family dearly, and I am so glad to know that we get to annoy each other forever.

 

Little Things

       Shaved legs and clean sheets. This is the most magical combination I know. Had a bad day? Wash your sheets and shave your legs, it always helps me. This is probably not a good idea for guys though, sorry.  I was thinking how bizarre this was today. How can something so simple, be so amazing? I've mentioned it before: life is hard, you can loose control of everything, but one little thing, so simple, can make it seem better - even if it's just for ten minutes.
        I love the tender mercies of the Lord. Without them, I would not be where I am today. Cliche, yes, but there it is. Every once in awhile, during a bad day - or even an alright day - something will happen that I will know that Heavenly Father is watching out for me, and that everything is going to be okay. The simpleness of the gospel always amazes me. God chooses the simple and the weak - by small and simple thing are great things brought to pass. It's not the monstrous miracles in our lives that create a lasting testimony (how often do these happen, anyway?), it's the tiny, steady steps we take towards perfection. Minuscule changes we make within ourselves, to become better.
      I am thankful for God's love notes in my life. The little things that remind me that although I am far from being the greatest, the most beautiful, the smartest, the fastest, and the most talented person in the world, He still loves me, and He accepts me for who I am.

Lessons to Remember

• Be brave- do something each day that scares you. 
• Learn to laugh at yourself - even when others can't see what's funny. 
• Have hope. Today's trials are tomorrow's miracles. 
• Be passionate. Know what you love, what you would fight for, what you would die for. Stick by it. 
• Don't go with the crowd. Stand out. Be different. 
• Be thankful. "Sincerely giving thanks not only helps us recognize our blessings, but it also unlocks the doors of heaven and helps us feel God's love." -Pres. Monson
• Brush your teeth. 
• Don't stress over things you can't control. 
• Have a favorite food, even if it changes everyday. 
• Create an inside joke with everyone. Find that friend that you can communicate with just a look. 
• Give hugs. Touch. Reach out to people. Smile at strangers. 
• Don't be swallowed up in technology. 
• Remember the feel of the sun on your skin. 
• God is everywhere. Find Him. 
• Be proud of everything you do. Never leave a job half done, or sloppy. Do your very best work. 
• Pray. We all need help. 
• Make a plan, and plan not to keep it. 
• Find love, and choose to hold onto it. 
• Don't wait for perfection. 
• Waiting to do something until you are not busy or have more time will never happen. 
• Money buys you junk, relationships buy you happiness. 
• Have faith.

Weaknesses

I work for the most amazing woman in the world! She was diagnosed with amyotrophis lateral sclerosis (ALS), over 8 years ago, many that are given this death sentence rarely survive past five years. She is a fighter. She has hardly any movement beyond being able to move her head, and she can stand like a small baby- only with assistance. She sits in an electric wheel chair in her house all day, everyday. She goes to church on Sunday and bible study on Friday. Every once in a while, when it's warm outside, she will go to the store.

When I look at her situation, I say, "I could never do it!" But she does. And she does it with a smile. I don't remember a day at work that I haven't heard her laugh at least once, even when she's having a terrible day. She has never complained to me about what she is dealing with, although sometimes she has told me to try and ignore my itching nose, just to have a brief glimpse at what she goes through. This woman is a rock, and even though she doesn't attend the same church I do, she shares the same belief in the Savior, Jesus Christ, and this is how she gets through her day.

On one of her walls in her bathroom, there is a plaque that says, "God never permits any trouble to come upon you, unless he has a specific plan by which great blessings will come out of the difficulty." As I read that each day at work, I know that Kim knows that this is true. We all have struggles. Some of us go through more mental or spiritual struggles than physical, but none of us are immune to the power of weakness. But our struggles and times of trial are not without purpose.

One of my favorite scriptures is Ether 12:27. The entire chapter is an amazing discourse on the power of faith, but the Lord also makes us a promise in this specific verse - "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." Just as Kim has found strength in Jesus Christ in her moments of weakness, we can as well.

 I'm not here to merely survive. I am here to be happy, and I want to be better than when I came. I want to grow, and learn, and I want an amazing testimony of my Savior. This has not and will not come easily. He has brought me through so much, and I know he will be there through so much more. "God be thanked for the matchless gift of His divine Son."

My Mom

My mom has a paper on the fridge at home. It says, "It's not happy people that are thankful, it's thankful people that are happy".  Today, I am so thankful. I'm thankful for my mom (and it's not even Mother's Day!). She always supports me. She taught me to be responsible, independent, smart, giving, how to love books, and be happy, and she trusts me to make wise decisions. I'm thankful that we are such good friends, and I can call her and talk to her about anything, even late at night when she has to get up early. I am thankful for the lessons she has taught me, about the gospel, and how to pray when things get hard. If I haven't said it lately or enough, I love my mommy. She is a thankful person, and I hope one day, I can be like her.

Entitled to Life

       I have learned the deep dark secret of the universe. And if you haven’t learned or heard it yet, you may want to look away now. Here it is - life is hard. Life is terrible. Life makes you cry, and sometimes, life even makes you wish you could be someone else – anyone else – because you are just so tired of being you.  You hear it all the time, at church, from your friends, and from your mom - you are here to be happy... Right… That happens about every other week and usually is accompanied by pizza and a big bowl of ice cream.

      I don’t have a super awesome, amazing life. I have to work for everything I have. I work hard. I work so hard that sometimes I want to sit in the corner of a room and cry. But, the up shot is, I don’t need anything. I have clothes, I drive a reliable car, I have food, and I even have a gym membership. What else could I want in life? Turns out, I've been wanting a lot more. 

      The scriptures talk a lot about our purpose here. Sometimes I think we get waylaid, and think that we are here to just have the joy it talks about in Nephi. Don’t get me wrong, I know we are, however, we are also here to be tested, and not just for the joy. I don’t ever remember learning in seminary, institute, or reading in the scriptures where it says that life would be easy. I like to think of a student that happily signs up for a class, and then expects an A without ever showing up to lecture, reading any of the assigned material, or even opening the book. When something is worth it, there is work involved. Always. This is another dark secret of the universe. 

    Sometimes, I find myself praying, asking for a reprieve from my trials. I am a good person. I’m not perfect, but I do what I can.  I served a mission, I read my scriptures, and I pray. I even take notes during General Conference, and I've been through a lot already. So, why then, do I need to go through so much still? Haven’t I learned what I need to? Nope. It so happens that I am not entitled to the Celestial Kingdom, or any kingdom for that matter. The fact that I even have been given a body and I'm here on earth is a huge blessing. Who am I that I think I can get out of this life without going through something hard? Or even two hard things? And what do these trials do to me anyway?  I am stronger. I have proved to myself that I made it. I proved to myself that God loves me, and gives me trials to strengthen my faith.  I am entitled to that – a grateful heart, because I have been given much.