I saw this on another blog that I was reading today, and I thought that I would give it a try. I thought it might count towards liking that part of me that I don't think others would like if they knew.
2. I really struggle with confrontation. Most of the time
I will do anything to avoid it. I will even give up my own wants/feelings/whateverness to avoid it. That doesn't seem much of a sacrifice to me, comparatively. Since my mission and after taking a few classes, I have come to know about the importance of communication, but still, sometimes I just get scared and don't want to deal with things.
3. I am terrified of the dark. Really. I usually just close my eyes tight and try to fall asleep as soon as I can. The funny thing is, I can't sleep if there is a light on anywhere, so I feel like I'm stuck. Most of the time if someone is with me, I'm fine. Maybe this is why I want a dog so much?
4. Sometimes I pick my nose. Blowing just doesn't do the trick! I've become really aware of this problem because I work in a facility that has cameras in every single room, except the bathroom. I'm sure the person in the control room just giggles when I go to town digging for gold.
5. I have PCOS (poly-cystic ovarian syndrome), and I hate it. I hate the not knowing what causes it, I hate the not knowing how to fix it, and I especially hate that I always feel guilty whenever I eat something I shouldn't. And the thing I hate the most - the nasty symptoms. They are so awesome... NOT! I guess in the long run it's not the most terrible thing I could have, but it's still bothersome, and I hate it so. I guess this could be thrown in with #1, but I feel like my body has betrayed me somehow, and so I have a hard time accepting this part of myself.
6. I take things personally. Things I shouldn't. And I know I do it, so most of the time I can stop myself, but every once in awhile, I will totally tear myself apart for not being good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, or anything enough.
7. When I feel guilty, you can make me do anything. Really. Although, now that I am aware of this, I am trying to fix it, but people that want to take advantage, totally can. All I've got to say about this, parents, be careful raising your kids.
8. I had a hard time adjusting to middle school - a REALLY hard time. So much so that we almost decided to put me back in fifth grade, it was so close that we were in the principal's office, and I was totally ready to go to school that day, even if my new teacher had to be the worst/meanest one, but thank goodness, the principal told me to try sixth grade for just a little bit longer. I am pretty sure my mom thought I was possessed for the longest time, but once we got my home room switched around, I was mostly okay. Before this incident, I was a know-it-all, spitfire brat, after, well... Next item.
9. I used to be painfully shy. I hated making eye contact/talking with people. I hated talking on telephones or being places where there were lots of people. I don't really have a problem anymore, but am still quiet. Mostly I just like to watch people. But, thanks to my mission, I will do pretty much anything that needs to be done, now. My boss is loving it. Ha.
10. Sometimes I get mad at Heavenly Father. I've always had simple faith, and have always trusted that things would work out the way the are supposed to... But every so often I look around at my friends who are married, or having babies, and I am heart broken that I can't have that yet. And sometimes I doubt I ever will. I get mad because a) it's a commandment to get married, so why can't I? and b) it's something that I really want, so, again, why can't I? Yes, I know, we are here to have trials and everything will be made right and blah blah blah. I know the answers, and yet, still, I get mad. I'm human.
10. Sometimes I get mad at Heavenly Father. I've always had simple faith, and have always trusted that things would work out the way the are supposed to... But every so often I look around at my friends who are married, or having babies, and I am heart broken that I can't have that yet. And sometimes I doubt I ever will. I get mad because a) it's a commandment to get married, so why can't I? and b) it's something that I really want, so, again, why can't I? Yes, I know, we are here to have trials and everything will be made right and blah blah blah. I know the answers, and yet, still, I get mad. I'm human.
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